Cats and My Health

I left LA this weekend to escape the noise and spend some time on the central coast with friends. Unfortunately, I spent about two hours of my mini vacation in the ER. Mystically, two hundred miles away from my house and my cats, my crazy cat lady aura still managed to cling to me. The following conversation is a true story:

Nurse: Date of birth?

Meg: Eleven Fifteen Eighty-two.

Nurse notes answer.

Nurse: Any allergies to medications?

Meg: None.

Nurse: What’s you’re living situation like?

Meg: Huh?

Nurse: Are you married? Do you have any children? Roommates?

Meg: Um. I have three cats. That’s it.

Quizzical look from the nurse and more note-taking. I vaguely wonder how my cats are relevant to my ailment…

Nurse: Any family history this condition?

Meg: Not that I know of.

More notes.

Nurse: How many pregnancies?

Meg: None.

Nurse: Excuse me? How many pregnancies?

Meg: None…

Nurse: Then are your children adopted?

Meg: Excuse me???

Nurse: How did you end up with three kids if you were never pregnant?

Meg: CATS! I have three cats! I have no children. I live alone. With three cats.

Nurse: Oh…I’m terribly sorry. Let me go get the doctor.

I vaguely wondered if she was apologizing for not hearing me correctly the first time or if she was sorry that I am the crazy cat lady. Enter the doctor…

Doctor: So, how are we doing today?

Doctor reads through the nurse’s notes then looks up at me with one eyebrow raised.

Doctor: So do you have three kids or not?

…sigh…

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